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I feel sorry for you, not because your husbands are working so hard but because you gave up your own lives. If you can't do that, realizing that your partner may never come around to your side of things, you are not ready to marry this person. I had some idea of his life at the time of wedding, but this is tough. I can pray for and with my youngest daughter and bless her thru prayer. I didn't even believe. We need to believe fully and then we make choices, not the other way around.
What a bozza topic. But she probably is more in love with the idea of you, than with you. Would I like to have him by my side. The most important thing is an open dialogue, as you say, and utmost respect for the other person. The fact that your guy came right out and said he didn't care what you thought and that we was going to spend his money and time the way he wanted indicates that he still thinks of himself as single. You should not be trying to be exclusive with one person, so go on dates with as many people as you can. He is in a way to become a Ex mormon.